Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
