Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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