Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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