Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
