i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
