I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Are we still banned from the library?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
