Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
