Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
then he tried to convert me to islam
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
