i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
