apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
