he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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