You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
