My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
