so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
