I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
