So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
