you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
