Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
