so explain again why im purple
no
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
