yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
