so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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