We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
