Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
