her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
