Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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