Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize