I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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