just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
