i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think my nap took me to another dimension
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