some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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