the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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