Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
