guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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