just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
