Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
