If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
