I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
