hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
