I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
