instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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