tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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