Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
