ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish you could order shots online.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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