I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize