Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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