I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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