Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
