The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
