He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
