You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
