Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Randomize