Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
