Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
