Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
