I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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