3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
