Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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