i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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