Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize