I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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