I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
