You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
