Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
