Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
