Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
