New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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