no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
