1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
