Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
