Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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