We're facebook friends in real life
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
